Beware of Gods Bearing Gifts

Once, long ago in college, I went through the necessary ritual of dating. On Valentine’s Day my junior year, I received a gift from a young man I had been seeing for several months. He sent me a singing telegram of the song “You Light Up My Life.” I think he meant it to be “our song,” because a month earlier at Christmas, he gave me a spinning musical unicorn plinking out the very same “You Light Up My Life” on a metal cylinder. He was clearly very excited about the Christmas gift, he thought it expressed our relationship perfectly: a brass, horned equine, revolving on itself to strands of Debbie Boone. I accepted my Christmas gift with a bewildered smile, not knowing what to say. The poor boy never realized I absolutely hate the song “You Light Up My Life.”

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It Happens All the Time….

As a freshman at James Madison University in the Shenandoah Valley, I discovered freedom. I went out when I wanted, came home when I wanted, slept when I wanted, ate when I wanted, ate what I wanted.   Growing up in a fairly strict and rather regimented home, my new life at JMU was exhilarating. Of course with more freedom, there were more responsibilities. Thanks to my fairly strict and rather regimented upbringing, I handled most of the responsibilities with ease. Still, I’d been liberated and I felt that I could finally paint this world in great big, broad strokes, with the image of the woman I was becoming.

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The Hill You Die On

Back when I was in seminary and, like my fellow students, full of indignation at a world teeming with injustice and inequity – way back when the consequences of fighting every battle that crossed my path seemed unimportant in the face of so many urgent causes – a very wise professor said these words to me: “You must choose the hill you die on.”

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Funeral for a Friend: Zach Arnold

I’m still angry about it. There are times where I get to thinking about him, what he accomplished, what he had yet to accomplish, and I just want to tear my clothes, punch a wall. Question whatever higher power there is about why take him, what was the point. It feels senseless and cruel.

I tell myself there’s a reason behind it. Some sort of grand plan. But there are those moments where “There is a reason” shifts into “There better be a reason, and a damn good one.”

Overall, I just don’t understand. And maybe I never will…..

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Of Squirrels and Women

Somewhere along the journey for the purpose of my life, I took a detour with a squirrel. I am an actor.  I am a minister.  The acting community keeps telling me that I need to stay in the arts.  The church community keeps telling me that I need to stay in ministry.  As of late, God has been mum on the subject.

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Two Churches

I see two churches. I see a church fresh and new – a honeymoon between God and God’s people.  Healing and wonders and signs are everywhere around them.  It’s as if everyday, every moment together is a blessing.  They hear the voice of God in everything they do, reminding them that they are chosen, beloved, important.  They give to each other with abandon, trusting that their resources are going to the greater good.  They pray together, eat together, study together, party together.  They are excited about the future, inviting everyone around them to be a part of this amazing thing that’s happening to them – this great purpose to serve God and serve the world.  This is a church with a mission.

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